Mind the Gap

 

If you’ve ever traveled to the UK, it’s likely that you’ve heard the phrase “Mind the Gap” playing over the speakers as you exit the Underground trains. Introduced in 1968, the phrase was meant to warn passengers about the unsafe gap between the curved railways and the straight railcars. It’s now such an iconic phrase that it can be found on t-shirts, hoodies, and other souvenirs in shops across the UK—and online retailers like Amazon.

Recently, this phrase came to mind when I was thinking about the process of self-development. In the last few months, I’ve had several conversations with friends about changes we’ve decided to make in our lives. Whether it’s switching majors, needing a change in environment, or building better habits, the common theme was recognizing aspects of our lives that no longer served us and making a conscious effort to change. It’s always inspiring to see others take accountability for their lives and work towards becoming better versions of themselves.

From the outside, it’s easy to assume that the hardest part of making a change is the discipline required to maintain a new habit or taking the first step to change an environment. However, something that’s often overlooked is the pain that arises while sitting in the gap between who we are and who we want to be. Most of the time, change isn’t instantaneous. There’s a period of time it takes to identify a problem and work through the steps to address it. It takes time to switch majors or careers, often requiring months of staying in a situation you’re not happy with. Moving locations and changing your environment is a long process as well. Studies show it takes an average of 30 to 60 days to break an old habit and make room for a new one. Regardless of what the change is, there will likely be a period of time before true progress is made.

Before we recognize an issue, there’s a sense of ignorant bliss in living a life without reflection or evaluation. Even though the way we do things may not serve us or align with our purpose, the less we think about it, the easier it is to keep going without regret. Once we realize the direction we want to take in life, true bliss comes when we align ourselves with our values and purpose. But notice, these two states—before and after—are blissful. The time in between, the gap, is often not as blissful. There is real pain in becoming aware that we are not yet who we want to be, and we have a long journey ahead to get there.

Noticing the gap is a necessary step in growth. But as crucial as it is to reflect and acknowledge the gap so we can work toward self-improvement, it’s equally important to avoid making the gap the sole focus of our attention. The more you focus on the gap, the wider it seems to grow, making it easy to get lost in the darkness. When all we focus on is the areas in which we need to grow, we risk losing sight of the things we already possess—the qualities that make us unique and worthy. There’s a balance that must be found. One that acknowledges the goodness already within us while also addressing the need for growth. Mind the gap, but don’t lose your mind in the gap.

I’m writing this for those who are currently sitting in the gap—the ones enduring the discomfort of growth, working toward becoming the person they want to be. I know it’s not an easy place to be. Trust that you are not alone, and as you continue your journey, the bliss will return. Many people fear the pain you’re experiencing right now and avoid it by continuing to live a life that isn’t true to them. Don’t follow that pattern. Keep going, keep growing, and trust that good things are ahead.

GOOD VIBES ONLYYYY,
-Kenzie