The Freedom of Letting Go: Embracing Impermanence
- Jay Shetty
Recently, a piece of Buddhist philosophy that has caught my attention—and my mom's as well—is the idea of impermanence. Considered a cornerstone of Buddhism, impermanence refers to the ever-changing nature of all aspects of life. It’s the belief that everything in our lives—emotions, relationships, careers—are fleeting. Nothing lasts forever, and nothing can be clung to, no matter how hard we try. While it may seem depressing to think that the things we cherish are not permanent, Buddhists believe that by accepting this truth, we can reduce our suffering and better appreciate the good times while we have them. Or, as Jay Shetty puts it in his book Think Like a Monk, “Only when we accept the temporary nature of everything in our lives can we feel gratitude for the good fortune of getting to borrow them for a time. For many of us, this concept generates great fear, but as I learned in the ashram, we can shift our fear to a soaring sense of freedom.”
My mom first introduced this concept to me last year. I’ll admit, I wasn’t a fan of the idea at all. I was in my third year of college, succeeding academically and athletically, and surrounded by some of the best friends I had ever made. The thought that none of these things would last felt unsettling. The idea that, despite all my effort, I couldn’t make them permanent didn’t sit well with me. In fact, my stubbornness made me want to prove Buddhists wrong (as if they cared, right?).
But when I entered the transfer portal, this lesson hit me hard. As I began to look ahead to starting fresh, it was difficult not to think about what I was leaving behind. I no longer had the comfort of my little bedroom on campus, no more spontaneous trips to Wawa for a milkshake and Sweet Tart Ropes (rainbow only, of course), and no more seeing the people who had lightened up my life every day for years. At first, it was tough. There were definitely moments when it felt overwhelming to look back on all the memories made, knowing new ones wouldn’t be created for a while. For some time, it really took a mental toll on me and made me question whether I was making the right decision. But through this experience, I’ve learned how to cherish every relationship and opportunity while I have it—and also how to trust that more blessings will come (and they have, in ways I didn’t even expect).
I’ve come to realize that sometimes we hold on so tightly to things—whether it’s a job, a friendship, or even our own beliefs—that we squeeze the life out of them. We convince ourselves that part of us won’t be okay without the job, the status, or the friendship. Sometimes we believe that just because things have always been a certain way, that’s the way they should always be. We cause ourselves unnecessary pain by thinking we’ll be missing a piece of ourselves without what we’re clinging to. The reality is, there’s so much more life out there, and so much of it is good. I’m not suggesting we jump ship at every opportunity, abandoning commitments or relationships, but I do believe we need to allow things to flow in and out of our lives. Life will pull us in so many different directions, and at each stage, we must find what naturally aligns with our journey and let go of what no longer serves us. When we learn to let go and accept that no title, achievement, person, or quality is forever ours, we can truly appreciate its presence while it’s here—not because it belongs to us, but because we’ve been fortunate enough to experience it.
The same goes for ourselves. Sometimes, we squeeze the life out of who we are by holding onto past ideas and definitions of ourselves that no longer fit. Letting go of old identities, beliefs, and situations is one of the healthiest things we can do. Giving ourselves the space to evolve and change direction in life is an essential form of self-care. We must make room for who we are becoming, even if it means letting go of who we once were.
Our fear of letting go doesn’t protect us from suffering; it prevents us from truly living.
Just let go.
GOOD VIBES ONLYYYY,
-Kenzie
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