The Weight of Our Words

Lifting Others Up: The Harder but Worthier Path

When I was in middle school, our principal gathered the entire school for an anti-bullying assembly. At first, I expected the usual speech—reach out for help, say “STOP,” and never let things get physical. But what she did instead left a lasting impact on me, one that I’ve seen apply to far more than just bullying.

She brought out a chair and called her son, Isaac—one of my classmates—to the front of the room. She asked him to step onto the chair and take her hand. Once he was comfortably standing above her, she asked what it felt like to see the whole room from that perspective, to be taller than her. Naturally, he enjoyed it—saying it felt cool, fun, even rubbing it in a little.

Then, she yanked his hand lightly. Within seconds, he was standing next to her again, no longer elevated.

“Let’s try again,” she said. This time, he was ready. He braced himself, put up a bit more resistance—but with the right angle and a little effort, she still pulled him down easily.

Finally, she asked him to get back on the chair one last time. But now, she changed the challenge: “Isaac, I know it’s nice up there, and I’d like to join you. Try your hardest to pull me up next to you, without any help from me.”

Of course, he couldn’t do it. Lifting someone up with one hand—especially someone significantly heavier—is far more difficult than pulling them down.

With that simple demonstration, she made a powerful point: Bringing someone down is easy. Lifting them up is hard.

The Ease of Tearing Others Down

Our words, actions, and energy can pull someone down in an instant—sometimes without us even realizing it. For those who are confident, resilient, and prepared, it may take longer, but given enough force and the right leverage, even they can be dragged down.

Not only is tearing others down easy, but in many ways, our society encourages it. How often do we hear people say, “I’d love to knock them down a notch” about someone they view as too confident? How many times do we root against dominant athletes or teams, hoping to see an underdog rise? Why do we take satisfaction in watching those at the top stumble?

I’ve said those phrases before. I’ve cheered for the underdog. But when I really think about it, I have to ask myself—why?

Most of us aspire to be strong, confident individuals who pursue our goals without fear of judgment. Athletes train relentlessly to win championship after championship. We admire people who exude self-assurance and determination. Yet, when we see those very people succeed, we often want to see them fall.

Is it because we feel there isn’t enough room for multiple confident people in the world? Do we believe someone else’s success threatens our own? Or is it simply instinct—an automatic reaction to something that intimidates us?

Choosing Growth Over Destruction

These are important questions to ask ourselves, and everyone’s answers will be different. But what matters most is how we choose to move forward.

I believe that the best we can do is commit to growth. As I wrote in my last post: We are human, thus imperfect by nature. We will make mistakes. We will say things that hurt others. Avoiding every misstep is impossible, and living in constant fear of offending someone isn’t sustainable.

What we can do is pay attention to how our words and actions affect people. If we see someone stumble after something we’ve said or done, how do we respond? Do we dismiss it, or do we take a moment to reflect? If we struggle to respect others’ boundaries, is it time for some personal introspection?

On the other side, if you find yourself constantly being torn down by the same people for the same reasons, it may be time for self-reflection as well. Why do their words hold so much power over you? Have you clearly expressed that their behavior is hurtful? If they continue despite knowing how it affects you, what does that say about the relationship?

Friendships and relationships often fall apart not because of a single mistake, but because the same hurtful patterns repeat with no change. If you feel like you're experiencing the same wounds over and over, ask yourself—how much more can you take before it’s no longer just a stumble? How long before you, too, are pulled off the chair? Recognizing when to step away and take care of yourself is just as important as learning how to lift others up.

Find Your People. Be Their People.

At its core, life is about finding your people—the ones who lift you up and keep you there. Not perfect people, because those don’t exist, but people willing to grow alongside you. If you’ve found them, recognize how lucky you are. Hold them close.

And most importantly, be that person for others. Lifting someone up takes effort, patience, and commitment. It’s harder than tearing them down—but it’s infinitely more rewarding.

GOOD VIBES ONLYYYY,
Kenzie